


Alice

by zoicite



Category: Priscilla Queen of the Desert (musical)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-17
Updated: 2011-05-17
Packaged: 2017-10-19 12:09:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/200705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoicite/pseuds/zoicite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam was starting to think he must have been out of his mind when he agreed to stay in Alice Springs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alice

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the 2011 Broadway musical production. It differs a bit from the movie (both in tone and plot).  
> 

When Tick first told Adam about the show in Alice, three drinks into the night, Adam laughed and laughed.

“Funny, Mitz,” he said and slapped Tick on the back.

Tick wasn’t smiling, was hunched on his stool, back curled toward the bar, clutching his Long Island Tea.

“You should give up the puppets and start a real comedy act,” Adam tried again. He leaned in until his chin rested on Tick’s bare shoulder, thinking that Tick hadn’t heard him, though he was practically shouting over the noise in the pub.

Tick just shrugged, the rise and fall of his shoulders pathetic beneath Adam‘s chin.

“You _are_ fucking joking, aren’t you?” Adam asked, suddenly less sure.

“No,” Tick said, without even an ounce of humour.

“Why?” Adam asked. Aghast, he leaned back away from Tick.

“There’s a show,” Tick repeated.

Adam wasn’t brain dead. Tick had a show here. A miserable show with an even more miserable audience that left Tick feeling miserable afterward about fifty percent of the time, but what could be so much better in Alice Springs of all places?

A show. That was no answer. There was a story here. Adam was going to hear it.

He spun on his stool, crossed his legs and leaned back, elbows propped on the edge of the bar.

“Well, that’s settled then.”

“What?”

“I’m coming with you,” Adam said.

“Really?” Tick asked.

“Really?” Adam repeated, his voice high and pathetic, mocking. “Oh, come off it, Mitzi. You’re not fooling anyone. Madonna. Ayer’s - wait, what the fuck are we calling it now?”

“Uluru.”

“Right.” He reached around Tick, turning Tick’s stool toward him before he continued. “You knew I’d want to go. You wouldn’t have told me if you weren’t hoping I’d come. Come on, fess up.”

Tick sighed heavily, pathetically, and then he turned to Adam and smiled. “I was hoping you’d want to come.”

“Always,” Adam sighed, wistful.

That did it. Tick broke and laughed. _Finally_. He swatted at Adam and then said, “I’m being serious here.”

“So am I,” Adam said.

“Listen, do you want to come with me or not?” Tick asked.

“I’ll come with you anytime you want, honey.”

“To Alice Springs,” Tick clarified, his tone dry now that he‘d drained the laughter out of it.

“Wouldn’t miss it,” Adam grinned. “When do we leave?”

**

The question had been simple enough.

“Who’s the loser that runs this casino in the middle of nowhere?”

Tick repeated his answer a second time and Adam was still sure he’d misheard, though the words sounded the same.

And the words sounded an awful lot like, “My wife.”

And then Tick tried again, changed the words, and it all started to sink in.

“I’m married.”

Adam had expected Tick to say his mother, a cousin, an ex-boyfriend. His wife. It had to be a joke. Had to be, but Tick wasn’t laughing, wasn’t even looking at them now, was concentrating on a crease in his trousers instead.

It wasn’t a joke. It wasn’t a joke any more than it had been when Tick had first brought up the show in Alice and Adam had laughed it off. They stood there for a long moment, the three of them, just staring at each other, unsure what to do next. Tick’s face looked - he looked terrified, and that was it, Adam had to say _something_.

“What did you do on your wedding night?” he asked. “The best man?”

Tick’s face twisted and everything was moving again and then Adam was safe and alone and on the bus. Tick didn’t need Adam for this part. That’s what Bernadette was for. She’d always been better at this kind of thing. It was best just to get out of her way.

Adam’s only consolation here was that Bernadette seemed just as surprised by the news. Adam had only known Tick for a little over three years. Tick had been friends with Bernadette for more than five. Turned out that maybe neither of them really knew Tick all that well at all.

Frankly, now that Adam had the space to actually think, he was starting to realize that though it was thoroughly weird, it also explained _a lot_.

Married.

It finally, after all these years, explained why Tick had been completely oblivious to the fact that Adam had spent the first year of their friendship mercilessly flirting in an attempt to get his hands up Mitzi Mitosis’s skirt. It explained why, as far as Adam knew, Tick had had a few flings in the last couple of years, but never one confirmed relationship, despite the fact that Tick had always struck Adam as a long term relationship kind of girl.

Adam had spent months watching Tick perform back in the beginning, learning from him, dragging Tick to his own performances and asking for critiques. He’d flaunted other men in front of Tick in an attempt to make him jealous, plied him with alcohol, and eventually when all of his efforts failed to reward him with orgasms and instead brought him a real _friend_ , he decided it was perhaps a relationship that wasn’t worth fucking with and gave up entirely.

And now here it was. That whole time. Married.

Later Adam watched Tick move around the bus, the familiar way that he shuffled and held his arms close to his chest to keep from knocking anything over. When Adam stood to get himself a drink - God, Adam needed a drink - Tick slapped his ass, hard, in a way that suggested that for Tick, nothing had changed now that the cat was out of the bag, now that they‘d all gotten over the initial shock of the news.

Even so, when Bernadette had wished them each good night and the bus was quiet and still, Adam noticed the way that Tick stared up at the ceiling, his mouth turned down in that same frown he’d been wearing since he’d first asked Adam if he wanted to come to Alice Springs.

Adam thought about going over there, climbing over Tick, making a big show of it in an attempt to get a smile instead of that same stupid overplayed frown. He stretched his arm out in front of him, turned his hand and extended his fingers, his head cocked as he started singing, quietly.

“You don’t need diamond rings or eighteen karat gold.”

Adam turned on his side, pointed toward Tick and continued, his voice just slightly above a whisper.

“You know they never last, no, no.”

He went on, louder now as he sat up, kicked his legs out, swung around and stood, continued the verse. Madonna knew her shit. What they needed, what Adam needed, was a big strong hand to lift him to a higher ground, make him feel like a queen on a throne. “Make him love you till you can’t come down.”

Bernadette groaned as Adam went into the chorus of ‘Express Yourself.‘ Adam flipped her off, his toes coming to rest on the edge of Tick’s bunk. Tick rolled his eyes, but when Adam held out his hand, Tick took it, allowing Adam to use Tick as leverage until he was up on the bunk, still singing and standing over Tick. He bent quick at the waist, leaning down toward Tick and finally getting that smile he’d been aiming for. He rolled his back and dropped, coming down to sit on Tick‘s thighs. Tick laughed now and sat up to push Adam off.

“Okay, Felicia” Tick said. “We all need our beauty sleep. That’s enough.”

Adam collapsed down beside Tick and laughed as Tick continued to slap at him. His words were no nonsense, but Tick’s demeanor was still playful. Adam fought back eventually, wrestling Tick and then finally letting Tick pin him against the wall.

Tick was laughing now too, breathing heavy, watching Adam close. Adam caught himself, his fingers pressed firm to Tick’s bare shoulder. Now that they were close he realized he was holding his breath. Realized that in his gut he was waiting, hoping that Tick might take some initiative for once in his life, lean in, kiss him. Adam was hard, just a little, and when Tick smiled, his eyes soft, Adam felt something lurch in his chest.

Shit, he thought. Fuck, shit, piss and fuck again.

This stupid fucking bus. This stupid fucking desert.

It’d only been a few days and already Adam was itching to get _out_ there already, to dance and sing and fuck until he screamed.

Adam wasn‘t going to do any of those things. Not now. Instead he reached out, set a dramatic hand to Tick‘s chest, and said the truth, “I know we’re in the middle of nowhere, Mitz, but Jesus. It’s only been two days.”

“What?” Tick asked, blinking, surprised.

“Were you just going to kiss me?” Adam asked, pulling away, turning his head back too fast so that it knocked against a wooden molding.

“No,” Tick said, probably a little more defensive than he should be as he sat up.

“No?” Adam asked, eyes narrowed, offended. ‘”Why not? Am I too much woman for Miss Mitzi Mitosis to handle?”

“Oh, fuck off,” Tick countered and Adam shrugged, stood, and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Or maybe,” Adam said, turning back and raising his eyebrows. “I’m too much man.”

“Or maybe,” Bernadette started up, her voice grating, weary. “You’re too much of a little shit for anyone.”

Tick raised his eyebrows back at Adam now, mocking, and Adam threw himself onto his sleeping pad, his back to Tick.

“Good night, Bernice,” he said, his tone such that ‘Bernice’ could only be heard as ‘Ralph.’

“Good night, Adam,” Bernadette responded with measured civility.

“Good night,” Tick echoed.

The bus was quiet again for a moment and then Bernadette started up once more. Predictable. She always needed to have the last word.

“And girls, it’s just a wife,” she assured them, her voice ringing out in the dark. “A wife is hardly ever the end of the world.”

**

Just a wife. Ha! Oh, it’s hardly the end of the world, Bernice, until Tick springs his adorable secret _son_ on you and you end up passing out on the floor of a casino in Alice Springs with your skirts all twisted up around your waist.

It just kept getting better.

Tick, his best friend, married with child.

Tick tried to make light of it all now, of course. He waved them off, made jokes, but he wasn’t fooling Adam, and if he wasn’t fooling Adam he certainly wasn’t fooling Bernadette. Tick was terrified that first night. Tick had been terrified for weeks.

Tick’s wife, Marion, as it turned out, had a knack for attracting weirdos (it explained a lot about her and Tick) and as a result her casino was full of all sorts and nothing seemed to phase young Benji, not even a father who spent many of his nights in a frock and heels.

Once this became obvious to everyone, once Tick saw that Benji could really know him, Tick had gone full circle, from terrified to optimistic. From optimistic to _happy_.

And then there was Adam. A little bruised, a little different than he’d been when they left Sydney. A little unfulfilled and itching for a fuck (that part was the same as when they’d left Sydney). And ignoring it all, because here he was. In Alice Springs. Babysitting.

“Are you going to stay here forever?“ Benji asked, closing his eyes as Adam brushed makeup just above his eyelids.

“Not forever,“ Adam said. Can you imagine?

“How come?“ Benji asked.

“Someday, Benji,” Adam said. “You’re going to grow up and when you do, you’re going to realize how scary Alice really is and how much we all must really love you to have stuck around here for so long already.”

“Alice isn’t scary,” Benji laughed. “And you’ve only been here three days!”

Adam shushed him and held his face still. “You’re going to smudge your eyebrows.”

“What are you two doing?“ Tick asked then, interrupting their conversation. He looked nervous and sounded suspicious, as though he’d just caught Adam signing Benji’s deal to work six nights a week on stage at the Cockatoo Club back in Sydney.

Adam rolled his eyes, opened his mouth to voice a retort.

“Adam’s turning me into a super hero!“ Benji exclaimed excitedly.

“Benji the Beautiful,“ Adam agreed.

“Nooo,“ Benji said. “Benji the Avenger!“

“Right, right,“ Adam conceded. “Benji the Avenger.“

“Will you help, Dad?“ Benji asked, looking hopefully at Tick. Adam thought that if Tick’s heart didn’t burst first, Adam’s might.

“Yeah,“ Tick said. “Yeah, of course I’ll help, Benj.“

He pulled his hands from the pockets of his trousers, reached for the brush that Adam held out to him.

“Come on, Mitz,“ Adam said, scooted over on his chair so that Tick could lean on the other half. Tick sat down and smiled at Adam, still a little unsure, but undeniably happy.

“Okay,“ Adam said, crossing his legs and leaning back. “Here’s what I’m envisioning for Benji the Avenger. I was thinking glitter and four-inch purple stilettos.“

“Noooo,” Benji shouted again, giggling from his perch on the table. “Roller blades!”

“Oh, all right,” Adam sighed dramatically. He nudged Tick with his shoulder. “Glitter and roller blades. You see what I’ve been dealing with over here? It‘s like a production of bloody Xanadu.”

“Looks like you’re doing a pretty great job to me,” Tick admitted.

Adam nudged Tick again, then handed him the tin of black grease paint. “You too.”

**

Benji had been telling Bernadette about Benji the Avenger for the last half hour. Bernadette listened carefully, nodding and smiling in all of the right places, eyebrows raised as though she’d never hear enough. It all looked pretty genuine from where Adam sat beside Tick, watching Bernadette in the reflection of his mirror as he pulled off his eyelashes.

“Bernice is loving this,” Adam noted. Then he turned to Tick and said, “Who are we kidding. _You’re_ loving this.”

Tick finished wiping the lipstick from his mouth and then smiled and said, “I am.”

“Hell, even _I’m_ loving this,” Adam admitted.

He said it mostly to get a reaction from Tick, the bright open grin directed right at him. Tick didn’t disappoint.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Tick said. “Both of you.”

“You could have told me, you know,” Adam said.

Tick snorted and turned back to his mirror, began pulling at Mitzi’s eyelashes.

“You don’t regret it then?” Tick asked. “Agreeing to come along?”

Adam watched the bob of Tick’s adam’s apple as he swallowed, the way that his knee bounced with nervous energy, his heel clicking a little against the floor. He thought of Coober Pedy and Tick’s face that night, how heartbroken the whole thing had left them all. Tick peeled the eyelashes off his right eye and then turned to see why Adam had fallen silent.

“You regret it?” Tick asked again. Adam could tell by his face that he was thinking of Coober Pedy too. Adam wanted to slide from his chair, climb over Tick, kiss Tick’s frowning mouth, a little red still from the lipstick that he’d just removed. Jesus, Felicia. Comforting Tick over something that hadn’t even happened to him. He was going to turn into Bernadette if he wasn’t careful.

Adam shook his head. “Nah,” he said, then leaned in closer. “Want me to let you in on a little secret?”

“What?” Tick asked, taking the bait.

“I’m so horny I’m ready to mount this table,” Adam admitted. It was mostly the truth.

“That‘s not a secret,” Tick said.

“No,” Adam agreed. “How about this then. I’m so horny that I’m jealous. Of _Bernadette_. If I don’t find a good fuck soon I’m going to - “

Tick laughed at that, then seemed to sober up as he said, “Just be careful, Felicia.”

“I’m always careful,” Adam said, brushing Tick off. There was too much Coober Pedy hanging around the room.

“How about you?” Adam asked, tried to get the focus off of himself.

“We can’t all be root rats like you,” Tick said, just as dismissive.

Adam pursed his lips together, took the hint and turned back to his own mirror. “I saw one of those bar boys the other day,” Adam said. “Looked just like your old boyfriend. You and Marion must have the same taste.”

“What old boyfriend?” Tick asked.

“You know, that one that would come into the Cockatoo, sit there right at edge of the stage and drool at the sight of your upper thighs in stockings.”

“That was you, dear,” Bernadette interrupted from across the room.

“Fuck off,” Adam countered, a reflex, then remembered that Benji was in the room. He turned then to find Benji standing right at his shoulder. “Oh, shit Mitz. Sorry.”

Tick rolled his eyes at Adam, then turned to smile at Benji as he said, “Always ignore Felicia, okay, Benji?”

“I can help, you know,” Benji said.

“Help what?”

“Find you boyfriends,” Benji offered.

Adam snorted, laughed, had to turn away.

“Do you need help finding a boyfriend?” Benji pressed. Tick’s mouth was hanging open, unsure how to respond. It seemed that during their conversation Tick had forgotten Benji was still in the room as well. Eventually Benji turned to Adam and said, “Do _you_ need help?”

“I don’t think a _boyfriend_ is what Felicia is after,” Bernadette said from across the room.

“A girlfriend?” Benji asked, confused now.

“No,” Tick said quickly. “Never mind.”

“I’m a big girl, Benji,” Adam assured him, trying to get things back on track before he started cursing in front of the kid again. “I can find someone on my own.”

“I know everyone in the casino,” Benji continued. “I could introduce you if you want.”

“All right,” Tick said, and finished wiping makeup from his cheek.

“What?” Adam and Bernadette asked at the same time.

“Oh, come on,” Tick said. “It’ll be fun, right Benj, finding a boyfriend for Felicia?”

“And you,” Benji corrected.

Tick leaned in toward Benji. “Let’s concentrate on Adam first, okay?”

Adam was pretty sure he saw Benji turn and roll his eyes at Bernadette in the reflection from her mirror. Tick should watch that. The last thing Tick (or well, Adam, mostly) needed was an unholy union forming between those two.

“What do you say?” Tick asked, and Adam realized it was directed at him now.

“You two run along,” Adam said, waved a hand to dismiss them. “I’ll manage on my own.”

“I know secret passages,” Benji offered.

“He knows secret passages,” Tick repeated for Adam.

Bernadette was staring at him through her mirror. When Adam caught her eye she raised her eyebrows and nodded. She thought they’d bonded. They had, she was right. But that didn’t mean Adam needed her giving him silent pushes in the right direction wherever they went. It was enough to make Adam want to continue his refusals right there. He opened his mouth to do just that, but before he could get the words out Tick put a hand on his knee and squeezed and Adam gave in instantly, sighed and said, “Oh, all right.”

He really needed to get back to civilization. Soon.

**

They sat at a table near one of the bars. Benji kneeled on his chair, leaned over the table and rested on his elbows as though he was letting them both in on some big casino conspiracy theory.

“That’s Janet,” Benji said and then pointed so obviously at poor Janet that the rest of Benji’s act became hilarious. “Janet always sings when it’s karaoke night but she’s not very good.”

Benji was still pointing and Janet was staring at them now. Tick lifted his hand and smiled, waved at Janet and then turned back to the table and tucked his hands between his knees.

“Oh, that’s Shep!” Benji said and pointed to the bartender. Shep waved and Benji waved back vigorously. Shep‘s dark hair was graying at the temples, his shirt tight across his broad chest. “Mum says Shep smiles and people give him money.”

Adam believed that. Shep’s dimples were as deep as canyons.

Tick turned to Adam, eyebrows raised. If Benji wasn’t there, Adam knew exactly what Tick would be saying. Shep could smile at him any day. Tick would offer more than money. That dog.

“Why don’t you introduce your Dad to Shep,” Adam suggested.

“Yeah?” Benji asked, twisting his little body on the table to look over at Tick.

“No,” Tick said and then coughed as though he‘d choked on the word. Once his coughing fit had ended he pointed at a young boy, older than Benji by a few years, who definitely looked like he knew his way around the place. “Who’s that? Is he one of the friends you told me about?”

“Oh,” Benji said. “That’s Kent. He’s the one that hid Buzby.”

“Who’s Buzby?” Adam asked.

“His stuffed dog,” Tick supplied.

“Did you find him?” Adam asked.

“No,” Benji sighed.

Tick looked up. “We found him yesterday.”

“Yeah,” Benji said. “But then Kent hid him again.”

“Maybe Benji should introduce us to Kent,” Adam offered, pressing his hands dramatically, cracking his knuckles.

Tick rolled his eyes at Adam, then his face fell, heartbroken, when Benji said, “It’s okay. Buzby’s just a stuffed toy. That stuff’s for babies.”

Tick rubbed a hand across Benji’s back and said, “Did you know that Adam still has a stuffed bear that he sleeps with at night?”

“I do not,” Adam scoffed.

“He doesn’t like to tell anyone,” Tick continued. “He’s afraid Bernadette will hide it on him.”

“What’s his name?” Benji asked.

“ _Her_ name,” Adam corrected. “Her name’s Ralph.”

Tick opened his mouth to shush Adam, then must have decided it wasn‘t worth it. Instead he said, “How about this, Benj. We’ll find Buzby and then _we’ll_ hide him from Kent, okay? That way you‘ll always know where he is.”

Adam didn’t hear Benji’s response. Didn’t care about the stuffed dog anymore or Tick’s lies. A waiter had just entered the bar and all Adam cared about was getting his name and getting him back to his room.

“Okay, him,” Adam said then, touched Benji’s shoulder to get his attention. “I want to meet him.”

The waiter was tall, round tight rear end. His calves looked like he spent a lot of time on a his feet, running maybe, or on a bicycle. His hair was dark, the same color as Tick’s, and he had dimples to rival Shep’s. He looked rugged, butch, like he spent a lot of his free time outdoors, but the way he was interacting with the other waiters in the room suggested to Adam that he might just swing in Adam’s direction.

“That’s Felix,” Benji said. “Mum just hired him last month. He’s from Melbourne.”

“Introduce me,” Adam said. He stood and then grabbed Benji from the chair, picked him up and set him on the floor. “Introduce me.” He pointed at Tick. “Stay here.”

Benji took Adam’s hand in his and dragged him over to where Felix stood at the bar. He reached out and tugged at the edge of Felix’s shorts. When Felix turned and found Benji standing there, his face lit up and he said, “Heya, Benj!” and then he turned that smile on Adam.

If Adam hadn’t been prepared for it he would have swooned.

“This is Adam,” Benji said. “He’s my aunt. But not really.”

“Uncle,” Adam corrected, then scrunched up his face. “But not really.”

He held out a hand for Felix to shake and Felix took it in his palm, turned Adam’s hand, and kissed the back of it.

“I saw your show last night,” Felix admitted. “You were fantastic. Really great. You too.”

Adam turned, confused, and found Tick standing behind him, hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans, shoulders scrunched up around his neck. Tick smiled and said, “Thanks,” and when Felix dropped Adam’s hand and reached for Tick’s, Tick slid his hand from his pocket and shook it, firm and manly. No kisses for Mitzi, Adam noted.

“Tick was just going to take Benji to get some lunch,” Adam said.

“No, he -” Benji started, but Tick, bless him, clamped a hand over Benji’s mouth, laughed and said, “That’s right. We have a lunch date with your mother, remember? Say goodbye to Felix and Felicia.”

He didn’t remove his hand from Benji’s mouth, so Benji had no choice but to wave silently as Tick dragged him off.

“I actually have to get moving too,” Felix admitted. He held up the tray he was carrying, a couple empty glasses sitting in the center of it. “On the job and all that.”

“Right,” Adam said. “Right, of course. I - I was just on my way to talk to Shep over here, anyway. He’s the bartender.”

Felix laughed. “I know. So maybe I’ll see you around?”

“Oh,” Adam said with a smile and a wink. “You’ll definitely be seeing me around.”

**

Adam sat at a table and nursed his daiquiri. His eyes followed Felix around the room, laughing with patrons, shouting orders to Shep. Adam was being obvious, he knew, but he didn’t care. He hadn’t slept with Felix yet, so obvious was the order of the day. And Felix didn’t seem to mind. When he had a chance, he came over, smiled at Adam, asked how he was doing.

Doing well, thank you, now that you’re here.

“You’re always here,“ Benji observed, coming up to sit in the empty chair at Adam‘s table.

“ _You’re_ always here,” Adam countered, looking past Benji to stare at Felix‘s thighs as he bent to pick up a napkin an older woman had dropped. She‘d dropped it on purpose, Adam could tell. When Felix stood Adam turned his attention back to Benji, who was staring at him as though waiting for something.

He should talk with Tick about this. At Benji’s age, should he really be roaming around a casino alone? What kind of mother was Marion anyway?

“Where’s your mother?”

“Over there,” Benji said and pointed. Adam looked to see Marion peering at the shelves beneath the bar with Shep. Oh. “Where’s the rest of your shirt?”

Adam looked down at himself. Everyone loved this shirt. It hung perfectly from Adam’s shoulders, the missing slices of fabric affording glimpses of his well muscled chest. It was tasteful, no matter what Bernadette had said at breakfast.

“He was attacked by a dingo,” Felix said, coming up behind Adam so that he jumped.

Adam made a face. It was still nicer than what Bernadette had to say. He was somewhat consoled when Felix leaned in close to his ear and added, “Don’t worry, dingo attack looks good on you.” He stood upright again and reached out to knock Benji’s shoulder. “Hey kid,” he said. “What’s going on?”

“Hey,” Benji replied and smiled his stupid miniature Mitzi smile. When he turned toward Adam the smile slid into a grin. “I was going to see if Adam wanted to play a game with me?”

Adam narrowed his eyes. He was starting to get the feeling that they were already playing some sort of game.

“Ah,” Felix said. “Stealing Felicia away from me, I see? Well, you two have fun, okay?”

Adam smiled, waved him off, then downed the bottom of his daiquiri and leaned in toward Benji.

“Don’t you have any little friends to keep you busy?”

“You’re my friend.”

“I’m your _father’s_ friend,” Adam corrected.

“Okay,” Benji said, and then frowned. “Sorry.”

Adam growled in frustration, knew he was being manipulated. He stood and reached for Benji’s hand, felt his heart soften a little as it slipped into his own.

“Let’s go,” he said. “You remind me more of Mitzi every day.”

“Thank you,” Benji said.

“Wasn’t meant to be a compliment, dear.”

**

It was a big casino. It was a big casino considering that this was Alice Springs, anyway. Despite that, Adam couldn’t seem to get a minute alone with Felix. He was beginning to think Felix was just a stupid nice guy, wasn’t actually interested at all. He was beginning to think this was going to turn into Tick all over again. As though Adam really needed another best friend. And when things seemed to be going well, suddenly he would appear. Benji the Avenger. All smiles and sunshine.

Adam was starting to suspect that Benji the Avenger had found his secret power. Adam was starting to suspect that Benji the Avenger could be more appropriately named.

Benji the Cold Shower.

“I think you should look into what Marion has done to your kid,” Adam said. “She’s had six years with him, you know.”

“What do you mean?” Tick asked, but he wasn’t really concerned, wasn’t even paying attention, was smiling too much to fool Adam into thinking he was taking anything that Adam had to say seriously.

Adam ignored Tick’s question. He had good reason - Felix had just started his shift, was already flirting with a young couple sitting by the door. When Felix looked up and caught Adam’s eye, Adam reacted on instinct, knew what he had to do. He grabbed Tick by the shoulders and kissed him.

Tick sat there stunned as Adam tried his hardest to make it appear that the kiss was mutual, and after a moment he released Tick, who leaned back against the bar, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.

Would have been nice if he’d thought to do that _during_ the kiss.

“What was that for?” Tick asked after a long moment of gaping.

“You see that waiter over there?” Adam asked pointing in Felix’s direction.

“Sure,” Tick said. “Felix. I remember.”

“I’m trying to figure out if he’s looking for a fuck.”

“Ah,” Tick said, grinning.

“Does he seem jealous to you?”

“Hard to say based on his back side.”

“It’s a pretty nice back side though, isn’t it?” Adam asked.

“Why don’t you just do what you normally do?”

“Ask him?”

“I meant more like stick your hand down his pants, push him onto the table and mount him.”

“I’ve tried,” Adam sighed. “Every time I’m about to bend him over, this meddling kid shows up and ruins the mood.”

“What meddling kid? That Kent?”

“Yours,” Adam says dryly.

Tick’s face immediately brightened as his mouth stretched into a dopey grin. “He’s so great, isn’t he?”

“Sure,” Adam agreed. Benji actually was pretty great. Tick wasn’t wrong there. “As long as you never plan to get fucked again.”

“Oh, come on,” Tick said. “He loves you. Crazy Aunt Felicia, isn’t that what you wanted?”

“What I want now is someone’s massive dick up my - he’s turning, kiss me.”

He grabbed Tick again, planted their mouths together and tried to keep his eyes on Felix. He was distracted by Tick, however, who was kissing him in the most awkward uncomfortable way imaginable. Tick had his lips pursed comically against Adam’s and was staring at him with eyes wide, eyebrows raised.

Adam almost laughed it was all so ridiculous, but he forced himself to hold back. Tick’s kid was the reason Adam hadn’t fucked anyone in weeks, first on the road, now here. If Benji was going to hinder, than Tick had fucking better help out.

“Jesus, Mitzi,” Adam said, pushed Tick away for a moment. “How’d you spawn a child if this is the first time you ever kissed someone?”

This seemed to annoy Tick just enough for Tick to actually try. He pulled Adam back in, hand wrapping around the back of Adam’s neck.

This time Tick actually kissed him, mouth demanding Adam’s attention so that Adam couldn’t focus on anything anymore except a sudden desire to be kissed by Tick, to kiss back. Tick’s hand was warm against his skin, and Adam reached up to touch the back of Tick’s palm. This seemed to encourage Tick and his kisses became more insistent until Adam was leaning into it, trying to get closer, greedily wanting more. Tick’s thumb brushed the hair at the back of Adam’s neck as his tongue slipped into Adam’s mouth, just once, just for a moment, but it was enough. Adam felt arousal curl through him and wished to hell they weren’t sitting in public at a bar. And then, just as quickly as it had started, Tick’s tongue was gone, then his mouth, then his hand.

Adam sat there stunned for a moment, his mouth hanging open just a little. Tick looked away, cleared his throat.

Finally, Adam managed to regain enough control to say, “Why did you stop?”

“Felix left,” Tick said.

Adam looked around the bar. He’d completely forgotten to keep an eye on Felix. “Did he look jealous?”

Tick was waving Shep over, two fingers in the air to indicate that they needed another round.

“Did he look jealous?” Adam asked again, fingers pulling at Tick’s shirt

“I don’t know,” Tick said. “I was busy.”

“Dammit, Mitz,” Adam cursed. “I need you to help me here.”

“I thought I _was_ helping,” Tick said, grabbed his drink from Shep and took a huge gulp.

Adam rolled his eyes, thought briefly about ways that Tick might _really_ be able to help. He opened his mouth, ready to suggest it, that if Tick could just help him scratch this itch, he’d - Oh, great.

When the hell had Bernadette arrived?

Bernadette was staring at him, mouth open across the room as though someone had just interrupted her in the midst of a blow job. Bob stood behind her, held her arm, and when he saw that Adam had noticed them he gave Adam the ‘thumbs up‘ gesture and began to wave him over.

“Here we go,” Adam said. Tick turned to see what had Adam suddenly abandoning him. He smiled when he saw Bernadette and Bob, waved, but stayed where he was, nice and close to Shep, leaving Adam to approach alone.

“Adam Whitely,” Bernadette said. “is there something you two would like to share?”

Adam crossed his arms over his chest. “Oh, don’t go twisting your titties into knots. It isn’t what you think.”

Ten more days. Ten more days and they could _fly_ back to Sydney and get out of this hell hole called Alice Springs. Ten more days and Adam’s life could go back to the way it was before Tick turned it completely upside down.

**

Felix was avoiding him. It was pretty clear. He seemed consistently overworked despite the fact that the casino was no busier than it had been a few days earlier. When he wasn’t working he seemed to completely disappear. Adam lamented this loudly in their dressing room every chance he found until finally Bernadette said, “Is this boy really _worth_ all of this whinging?”

“I’m not whinging,” Adam said, defensive.

“Really?” Bernadette asked. “Oh, I just need to fuck. Oh, if I could just get Felix alone for ten seconds. Ten seconds, Adam? That‘s all it would take? Sad.”

Tick laughed and Adam said “Fuck off,” and turned back toward his table.

“I’m going down to that pub tomorrow,” Bernadette said. “I need to see this Felix for myself.”

Adam groaned. He groaned even louder when he walked into the bar the next day to find Bernadette, Bob, and Tick all huddled around a table. Adam rolled his eyes as he sat down in the last empty chair.

“So that‘s him,” Bernadette said as they watched Felix bustle about. He glanced over toward Adam and waved, then made an apologetic face, so swamped, sorry, no time.

“So what do you think?” Adam asked, because the opinions would come anyway, it was unavoidable.

“He’s attractive,” Bernadette said with a shrug.

“He looks like Tick,” Bob concluded.

Adam must have looked horrified because Tick’s response was an offended shove.

“Thank you, Bob. I _wish_ I looked like that guy,” Tick said, then turned to Adam. “I think you’re right though. He’s avoiding you.”

“Really?” Adam said. “What gave you that impression?”

“No need for sarcasm,” Bernadette said. “It’s a misunderstanding. He thinks you and Tick are a couple.”

“Why would he think that?” Adam asked.

“Probably because of how you were kissing me the other day,” Tick offered.

“How I was kissing _you_?“ Adam asked. Then shook his head, dismissive. “He doesn’t think we’re a couple.”

“Why else would he be avoiding you?” Bob asked. “Do you think he’s straight?”

“He’s no more straight than Tick over here - oh wait.”

Tick slapped him a little harder than was necessary.

“No,” Adam said. “I don’t think he’s straight.”

“So then he thinks we’re a couple,” Tick concluded. “You know that jealousy thing always backfires. I don’t know why you keep trying it.”

“Okay,” Adam sighed. “Maybe he thinks we’re a couple.”

“Well, that’s easy then,” Bob said jovially as he slapped Adam’s back. “Not too difficult to clear up at all.”

**

Adam only had to bide his time. Eventually Felix would slip up and Adam would catch him and everything would be back on track. Until that happened Adam felt just a little bit like a stalker, but it was worth it when he finally did catch Felix, pulled him aside and said, “Where have you been hiding?”

“I didn’t want to overstep,” Felix said, ducking his head and smiling. Shit, he was fucking adorable.

Of course Bernadette had to be right. Of course. “Tick and I aren’t together.”

“I saw you kissing him,” Felix said, doubtful, as though Adam might be lying and trying to cheat on his boyfriend with a waiter who looked _nothing_ like him except in hair colour.

“I was trying to make you jealous. Did it work?”

“Yes,” Felix admitted.

“Good.” He made a mental note to inform Tick that _sometimes_ the jealous thing did actually work.

Adam thought it over. Felix was lingering, didn’t seem to be in a rush to run off, and if Adam didn’t try this now who knew if he’d have another chance? He’d be headed back to Sydney with nothing to remember Alice Springs by (well, not _nothing_ , obviously, but a good fuck never hurt).

“Come on,” Adam said and reached out to grab Felix’s hand.

“Where are we going?” Felix laughed, but he didn’t resist, followed Adam when Adam pulled.

“I know a couple secret passages in this place. Want to check them out?”

“Secret passages, eh?” Felix asked.

“Let me show you my secret passages,” Adam joked, and it was crude and stupid, but Felix laughed.

He stopped in front of the doorway that Benji had shown him, grinned at Felix and then pushed it open and pulled Felix inside. The hallway was dark and empty just as Adam expected.

“This isn’t a secret passage,” Felix started. “It’s the back hallway between - “

“Shh,” Adam said, slapped a hand over Felix‘s mouth. “Don’t give away the secret.”

Felix rolled his eyes and then kissed Adam’s palm. That was more than enough of a hint for Adam. He removed his hand and replaced it with his mouth. It was about fucking time he thought and pushed at Felix’s shirt, his fingers fumbling with the buttons. Felix pushed his tongue into Adam’s mouth as his hands pushed at Adam’s shoulders, backing them up until Adam hit a table that had been pushed against the wall, sat on the edge of it.

He wasn’t wasting any time, had the front of Felix’s jeans open, his hand inside. Felix groaned, low and encouraging. Adam was about to slide off the table, get on his knees for Felix when he heard a noise and paused.

“What?” Felix asked, his voice breathy.

The doorknob to the hallway rattled.

“Shit,” Adam said. “Shit, get dressed.” The last thing he needed was to be caught like this. It could be anyone. It could be Benji.

“I’ll check the secret passage,” Adam heard Tick say as the door clicked open, light slipping into the hallway, and if he had Benji with him Adam might really die now. Felix had his jeans zipped up at least, but his shirt was still mostly undone.

“This isn’t a secret passage,” Marion’s voice came next.

Felix seemed shocked by the fear in Adam’s earlier tone, probably thought that Marion would fire him. Marion wasn’t the type to fire anyone for having a little fun in a storage cupboard. Marion was the type to laugh and make crude jokes. She’d probably walk away, leave them to it, tell everyone that Adam had ever met what she’d seen. Marion wasn’t why Adam was rushing to pull himself back together.

Adam was just starting to formulate a plan. This was a hallway right? It went somewhere. They could just slip out the other side. But there was no time to put the plan into action before the lights in the hallway clicked on and Tick was standing there gaping at them.

Tick looked frozen for a moment, long enough for Felix to say, “I thought you said he wasn’t your boyfriend!”

“He’s not,” Adam said.

And then Marion pushed her way around Tick, slapped his arm, and then said, “Well, well. No Buzby, but this is almost just as good.”

“I’m sorry,” Felix was saying to Tick, and for Christ’s sake, this was going to scare him off for good if Tick didn’t fix it.

“No,” Tick said, finally snapping out of it. He laughed now, though it sounded a little manic. “No, we’re sorry. We’re looking - It’s Benji’s - “ He trailed off, then threw up his hands in surrender before letting them flop back down at his sides.

Adam looked around the hall to confirm that there were no toys lying around. There actually was one on the table behind him though and he huffed as he grabbed it and pushed it into Tick’s hand. “Here,” he said.

Instead of just taking the toy and leaving, Tick stared at it stupidly and then said, “This is a hippo.”

“I don’t even think that’s Benji’s,” Marion agreed, but she took the hippo from Tick anyway. “Alright, you two. You can get your jollies when Felix is off the clock. Break’s over. Back to work.”

Felix was still apologizing and he finished buttoning his shirt, then turned to Adam, his smile embarrassed as he rushed off.

“Adam,” Marion said, reaching out to link her arm with Adam’s. “Why don’t you join the search party?”

“Of course, Marion,” Adam said. “Searching for a lost toy was exactly the activity I had in mind this afternoon.”

Tick snorted and pushed at his shoulder.

“This casino is driving me crazy,” Adam muttered.

“Oh,” Marion laughed. “You’ll fit right in then. Didn’t Tick tell you?”

“Tell me what?” Adam asked, turning toward Tick.

Tick grinned, then leaned in close to Adam’s ear. “We’re all mad here.”

**

Adam didn’t manage to catch up with Felix again until the following morning, and then only for a few moments when he wasn’t needed by other patrons. Turned out that Felix hadn’t been scared off _completely_ and he agreed to meet up with Adam after his shift, which happened to fit in perfectly with the few hours that Adam had free between their two shows.

In the meantime, Adam was wasting time hanging about in Benji’s room.

Adam had agreed to a board game, and Benji was busy setting up the board, something about a kookaburra. As Benji sorted the game pieces and explained the directions to Adam, Adam nodded and hummed in the appropriate spots, only sort of paying attention until Benji decided to abruptly change the subject. Probably as a test to see if Adam was listening.

“What?” Adam asked.

“Still no boyfriend?” Benji repeated.

“No,” Adam said and made a face.

“You’re not very good at this,” Benji observed.

“And you are?” Adam said, he sat up and peered down at the game board now, finally ready to concentrate on the game. It would be better than this.

“Sure,” Benji said and handed Adam a game piece shaped like a kangaroo. “I think so.”

Adam didn’t want to be having this conversation. It was bad enough having it the first time and at least then Tick was there.

“Maybe I’ll just date your daddy,” Adam suggested. “How would you like that?”

“Really?” Benji asked, his face lighting up.

No, no, no. That wasn’t at all the reaction he’d been looking for. Back up.

“Really Adam?” Benji asked again. “That would be _perfect_.”

“No, it wouldn’t be _perfect_ ,” Adam said. “It would be far from perfect and forget I ever said it okay? Now how do I play this game?”

**

Still no boyfriend?

We’ll see about that, Benji, Adam thought as he leaned Felix back on his bed, kissed down his chest. Felix’s hands were at Felicia’s shoulders, then her neck, then the wig, fingers catching in auburn curls. Adam had pinned it well and he felt the pins pull a little on Felix’s fingers, but everything stayed in place.

Adam’s hands settled delicately over the bulge in Felix’s jeans. “You’ll have to remind me,” he said, looking up at Felix through thick eyelashes. “Was this where we left off?”

Felix grunted, laughed, and said, “Yeah, I think that was it.”

His hips moved a little beneath Adam’s hand, pushing up against the denim barrier between them. Felix’s mouth was red with Felicia’s lipstick, and Adam climbed back up his body to kiss him again, his hand lingering over Felix’s cock, teasing him through layers of clothing.

Adam’s heart was pounding a little in his ears so when the knocking first started Adam was able to ignore it, pretty sure it was all in his head anyway.

Eventually Felix broke the kiss and said, “Do you think you should get that?”

Adam paused, listened, and the knocking started again.

“They’ll leave,” Adam said. It wasn’t important. Everyone important to Adam at this moment was already in the room.

They didn’t leave. The knocking came a third time.

“You’ve got to be fucking joking,” Adam groaned. “Go away!”

Someone on the other side called back. It was Tick.

 _Of course._ Again.

“The casino better be on fire,“ Adam grumbled as he stood and adjusted his dress before he crossed the room and threw open the door. “What?”

“I need your help with something,” Tick said. He looked Adam up and down. Adam guessed what he saw. The flush of Felicia’s cheeks, her makeup smudged, the spot on her shoulder where Felix had scraped his teeth, the erection tenting the front of her frock.

“Oh,” Tick said. His face was red and he moved to cover it with his hands, then shook them and pressed them back down at his sides. He peaked past Adam, waved to Felix, then hissed, “Why did you answer the door?! You should have just told me to fuck off.”

“I did tell you to fuck off,” Adam said, made another attempt to straighten himself. “What is it?”

“It’s not important,” Tick said. “You go back to doing - “ the flurry of waving hands returned - “What you were doing.”

Before Adam could insist that Tick just tell him why he was there, Tick was escaping down the hall, pausing just once to grin at Adam, eyebrows raised, hopeful and congratulatory.

“Where were we?” Adam asked once the door was shut again behind him.

Felix looked Felicia up and down and then shrugged, nonchalant about the whole thing, suddenly. That would have to be changed.

Adam crawled back over him, his hands working at Felix’s belt as he resumed their kisses. He was distracted now though. He kissed Felix and caught himself wondering what Tick had needed him for. It was probably something completely Tick, something completely unimportant. He kissed Felix again, tried to concentrate on lips and tongue. It worked for a moment until Adam caught himself remembering the kiss at the bar, caught himself making comparisons now.

It wasn’t that Felix was a bad kisser, not by any stretch. He had a perfectly talented mouth and an ass that was made to have Adam’s hands gripping it, skin that tasted perfect against Adam’s tongue. Tick sat there frozen when Adam first kissed him at the bar, probably wouldn’t have any idea what to do with Adam at all. But Adam remembered the way that Tick’s kiss had teased, the soft hint of tongue right before Tick had pulled away.

He could get off with Felix now. He could get off with Felix and think about Tick. It had been years, but it wouldn’t be the first time he’d done this.

“I need your help,” Tick had said. I need you.

Fuck, this was the very last thing that Adam needed right now. He broke away from Felix, untangled himself, and Felix seemed to know immediately.

“It’s Tick, isn‘t it,” Felix said.

“No,” Adam said. “Yes. I have to - he has the worst timing of anyone I’ve ever met.”

“Yeah,” Felix laughed, looked away.

“Rain check?” Adam asked.

“Why bother?” Felix said. “We already know how it’ll end.”

“After the show tonight,” Adam offered. “You can finally get a glimpse of what Felicia Jollygoodfellow has hidden under her skirt.”

“I don’t think so,” Felix said.

Adam could pursue this now, could change his mind and could tell that Felix would still be up for it. He could get fucked, good and thorough. It was what he’d been wanting for the last month. Or he could help Tick with something that even Tick admitted was unimportant, something that would never lead to what Adam was really after. If Adam was smart, he’d choose Felix right now.

Adam wasn’t that smart. He reached out and set a hand on Felix’s shoulder. Felix nodded.

“If things don’t work out with Tick,” Felix said. “You know where to find me.”

**

Adam looked around the room and said, “I can’t believe I abandoned Felix for this.”

Tick had been surprised to see Adam, had tried to get him to go back to Felix, didn’t seem to realize that it was all too late. And now here they were, standing around, awkward and uncomfortable in some random child‘s bedroom.

“I can’t believe you did either,” Tick agreed. “I said it wasn’t important.”

The plan was juvenile. Tick wanted to get revenge on a ten year old kid for hiding his son’s toys by hiding Kent‘s toys instead. It was the kind of plan Adam would come up with.

Kent’s room was lined with action figures, mostly small army men. Boring. Their clothes were plastic.

“What’s the point?” Adam asked, poking at one of the soldiers.

“I don’t know,” Tick said. Tick probably had loads of plastic army men as a kid. “Help me out here. What do you think this Kent is really attached to?”

“Certainly not the same things I was attached to at his age,” Adam sniffed. He sat on the edge of Kent‘s bed, crossed his legs and smoothed the skirt over his thighs.

Tick grinned. “You don’t feel love for Madonna emanating from this bedroom?”

Adam snorted now, turned away, then figured what the hell, what else could he possibly lose today, and said, “You know, I always wanted some big butch man to fuck me while dressed as a ‘Like a Virgin’ Madonna.”

“I know,” Tick said, poking through a stack of comic books. “You’ve told me. I’m amazed that you haven’t managed to cross that off your list yet.”

Adam stood and moved toward Tick, leaned against the edge of the bookshelf, toes pointed as he smiled, long and slow.

Tick looked up at him and his eyes went wide as he held up his hands. “No,” he said, and took a step back and away from Adam.

“Married, wife and child. Doesn’t get much more butch than that,” Adam pointed out. He reached out to run the tips of his fingers down Tick’s arm.

Tick shook his hands at Adam, his laugh high and nervous as he looked away, eyes crinkled with it. It was almost the least butch thing he could have responded with.

“What about Felix?”

“Really, Mitz,” Adam said. “This family man side of you is kind of sexy.”

“Shut up,” Tick replied.

The scary part was that Adam was actually serious. It _was_ sexy. He reached out for Tick, caught a hold of Tick’s shirt even as Tick tried to step out of the way. Eventually he had Tick cornered between the shelf of army men and a giant inflatable punching bag. He took Tick’s hand in his, guided it to his stockinged thigh, right where it disappeared beneath the skirt. Tick pulled his hand away as though he’d been burned. Adam smiled and shrugged and then leaned in and kissed Tick.

He’d imagined, hoped, that it would go differently. That they could start where they’d left off the other day, Tick’s tongue curling Adam’s toes, but they’d rewound much further than that, all the way back to the Tick who stood there frozen, had never kissed anyone before in his life and didn’t know what to do.

Come on, Adam thought. You can’t fool me anymore. I know you’re good at this. You could get me off with just a kiss. He wrapped his arms around Tick’s back, pulled their bodies close as he tried to persuade Tick to join him in this.

Tick was still holding his hands up in the air, wasn’t touching Adam at all, was just standing there letting Adam kiss him.

Adam was just about to give up when finally, _finally_ , he felt Tick shift against him, felt Tick’s body fall out of its frozen state and relax against Adam. He kissed Adam in return, just once, not nearly enough, and then his hands found Adam’s shoulders and he was pushing Adam back, breaking them apart.

“What are you dong?” Tick asked, once he’d put some space between them.

Adam thought that maybe it was time. Time to just admit everything, put it all out there. “You know,” he offered. “I spent the first year we knew each other flirting with you.”

“I know,” Tick said.

“What?”

“I knew,” Tick repeated

“Well, why the hell didn’t you say anything? Because you’re straight?”

“No,” Tick said.

“When’s the last time you - “

Tick shrugged his shoulders and then reached out to wave his hand in Adam’s face, trying to lighten the mood. “You’re just not my type, Felicia.”

“Oh.” He’d known that really. Or he’d assumed.

“Listen,” Tick said, reached out to rub Adam’s bare shoulder. “I’m sorry, I just - “

Adam shrugged, brushed it off, and said, “How about his underwear?”

“What?”

“Steal the kid’s underwear,” Adam suggested.

“All of it?”

“Yeah,” Adam said. “This kid steals Benji’s stuff all the time. Let him walk around uncomfortably commando for a while. See how he likes it.”

Tick seemed to think this over for a long moment and then he grinned and crossed the room to Kent’s wardrobe.

**

Marion made the suggestion one week before their month-long contract was up.

“Why don’t you stay?” she asked, one hand on Tick’s knee, the other holding Adam’s hand. “You could live here with us. Benji would love it.”

“Live in Alice Springs,” Adam laughed, sure the others were thinking the same thing.

“Bernadette has already agreed,” Marion offered.

Adam felt his mouth fall open as he turned toward her. Bernadette looked away.

“I asked her to help me run the entertainment side of things. I could really use the help. And there’s Bob -”

“Being a wife is far from the end of the world, eh, Bernice?” Adam asked. She screwed up her face at him, but Adam could tell that she knew what he wasn’t saying. He was happy for her. He was even jealous, just a little.

“And Tick - “

“What would we _do_ here?” Adam cut in, asked the real question since Tick seemed to be at a loss for words. He looked to Tick for support, but Tick didn’t look at all like he thought Marion and Bernadette were both off their rockers.

“Marion offered us another show,” Tick said, which was when Adam finally realized that he was the only one being convinced here. “Whatever we want. I was thinking a two-woman Madonna show.”

“Two?” Adam asked, offended that Tick would have already counted him out.

“I’m retired,” Bernadette said.

“I was hoping you’d stay on with me?” Tick asked.

“Live in Alice Springs,” Adam repeated, this time actually thinking about it seriously.

He remembered back to the exhilaration of standing on Ayer’s Rock in frocks with his closest friends. He thought of the way that Tick had stared at their hands intertwined there, just the three of them and the wind blowing through the feathers attached to their heads. He remembered the look on Tick’s face when they’d returned to the casino afterward and Benji had run to hug him, didn’t even blink at the sparkling hearts adorning Tick’s chest.

He thought of the way that Benji took his hand when they walked together, the way that he giggled, high and unfiltered when Adam picked him up and tipped him upside down. When he laughed like that he looked just like Tick.

He’d miss everything if he went back to Sydney.

And on top of that, he’d have to do the drive back alone. He’d probably break down in Coober Pedy of all places.

“Adam?” Tick asked.

“Oh, all right,” Adam concluded finally. “Alice Springs it is. Not _forever_ , just until we finish this second show, okay?”

Tick’s grin was enormously wide as he reached for Adam, pulled him into a tight hug. Adam pressed his face to the warm skin of Tick’s neck and held on.

**

They started rehearsing the next morning, Benji watching from his spot on the floor, legs folded underneath him and chin resting in his hands.

Tick even let Adam have some input on the choreography, and when Benji clapped and cheered at the end of each number, there was no other word for it, Tick _glowed_.

Bernadette slipped in once in a while, stayed for one song, then rolled her eyes at them both and left. She wasn’t fooling anyone. Adam caught her smile just before she turned. Love looked good, even on someone as old as Bernice. Even more so on Tick, whose usual shtick of playful slaps and wrestling had evolved, most likely to make up for the slight from days prior, to include the caress of his hand along Adam’s back before coming to rest comfortably on Adam’s shoulder. This new Tick hugged him sometimes just because.

He was overcompensating.

Still, Adam didn’t plan to comment on it, hugged Tick back instead, lingered maybe just a little too long.

The Adam of a few months ago never thought he’d say this, but despite the fact that he was horny as hell, had been rejected by his best friend, and there wasn’t a fuck in sight, life in Alice Springs wasn’t actually looking so bad.

**

Adam watched Tick and Benji splash around in the pool, throwing a ball back and forth. Benji had awful aim so each time it was his turn to throw Tick dove dramatically in an attempt to catch the ball and Benji dissolved into hysterical giggles that sputtered with water as he jumped up and down.

“See that boy over there?” Marion asked from her perch on the chair beside Adam‘s.

It was her day off, which meant Adam couldn’t get rid of her.

“Where?” Adam asked.

“Folding towels by the bar,” Marion clarified.

Adam squinted. “Sure,” he said. “That your boyfriend?”

“No,” Marion laughed. “But he’s gorgeous, he’s gay, _and_ he’s been at your show on all of his nights off.”

“What’s his name?” Adam asked. Benji was calling Adam’s name and Adam watched Benji jump and down in the shallow water, waved back.

“Dex,” Marion supplied.

Adam glanced over at Dex. He was blond, probably had gorgeous blue eyes. He looked young. He looked boring.

“He’s going to the show for Mitzi,” Adam concluded. He leaned back and flopped his arm over his face, blocked his eyes from the sun. Benji was still calling him.

“Maybe,” Marion agreed. “But Tick’s not going to give him the time of day, so if some other gorgeous bloke decided to step in, I’m sure - “

“I’m trying out celibacy,” Adam grunted from beneath his arm. “I hear it’s very rewarding.”

“What?” Marion laughed, and then laughed harder when Benji suddenly appeared out of nowhere and flung himself at Adam, soaking wet child flopped across Adam’s chest.

“Come in the pool,” Benji demanded. “Benji the Avenger orders you to come in the pool!” He wiggled his arms and legs around on Adam, the hair on his head brushing Adam’s chin as he tried to get Adam as wet as possible.

Tick was out of the pool now too, standing over Adam and dripping down on him. He nudged Adam’s side and then sat down on the edge of Adam’s chair. Benji slid off Adam’s chest so that he was resting beside Adam now, head resting comfortably on Adam’s arm. Tick shook his hair over Adam, not that it mattered now, Adam was already pretty wet, then danced his fingers up Adam’s bare chest and said, “Benji’s been asking me to get you into the pool.”

“And how are you going to do that?” Adam asked, squinted up at Tick.

Tick shrugged and then stretched out on the chair beside Adam, body pressed to Adam’s side, his feet hanging off the end and his cheek resting on Adam’s other shoulder. There wasn’t enough room. These chairs weren’t meant for one adult and a child, let alone _two_ adults and one child, and Tick had to wrap an arm across Adam to keep from rolling off. He played it off by reaching over to muse Benji’s wet hair. Benji laughed.

“Adam’s celibate now,” Marion’s voice cut in, tone laced in knowing amusement. Adam didn‘t know what she thought she knew, but whatever it was, he had a feeling she was probably wrong. “Have you heard?”

“What are you celebrating?” Benji asked. He copied his father, stretched his small arm across Adam’s chest so that Adam was effectively wrapped in them both.

Tick laughed at the misunderstanding, turned his face into Adam’s shoulder and pressed his smile to Adam’s skin.

“What?” Benji asked. He pushed up against Adam, the press of his hands painful on Adam’s chest as he reached across to poke at Tick’s face. “Is it Adam’s birthday?”

“It’s not my birthday,” Adam said.

He couldn’t sit here like this anymore. It was too intimate, too close to what he’d caught himself wanting lately, too close to what he‘d already been told he couldn‘t have. He dislodged his arms and slapped their shoulders, “Okay,” he said. “Get up. You win. I’m going in the pool.”

**

“I want to dance,” Adam groaned.

They’d just finished the final show of their original contract with Marion. They had been scheduled to head back to Sydney tomorrow morning. No one was going anywhere. Adam had called his mother and told her the news and she’d fluttered and sighed and asked if he’d met any nice girls. He said yes and then hung up on her.

He was going crazy, itching with it, ready to climb out of his skin. It was one thing when he knew that things were going to change, that he was going back to his old routine at home. Now though, now this _was_ home, at least for the time being. Adam needed an outlet, and so far dancing was the best he’d found in Alice Springs.

“Not me,” Bernadette said. “The only dancing I’m doing from now on is ballroom.”

“Boring,” Adam sang, dismissed Bernadette with a wave of his hand. He plucked at his frock, not ready to take it off, his heels tapping at the floor. “I’ve gotta get out of here. Dance and fuck and scream.”

“So much for celibacy, eh?” Tick laughed. He slid off his shoes and rubbed at his feet.

“Celibacy?” Bernadette repeated, aghast.

“Come on, girls,“ Adam tried again. “Let’s celebrate.”

“Celebrate _what_?” Bernadette asked.

“Our last show,” Adam said. “Our next show. Who cares. Madonna.”

“Madonna,” Tick laughed. He stood and then reached for Adam‘s hand. “Okay, let’s celebrate.”

“Really?” Adam asked, sure he’d be on his own.

“Count me out,” Bernadette said.

Adam took Tick’s hand, let him pull until Adam was standing, almost the same height as Tick now that he was wearing shoes and Tick was barefoot.

“She’s honeymooning,” Tick said, voice low as he leaned in toward Adam.

“Oh, shut up,” Bernadette said, then she smiled and added, “It’s true.”

Of course it was.

Adam and Tick left Bernadette to her honeymooning.

They left Bernadette and they got pissed and donned their favorite frocks and went to the only dance club in the casino. The patrons mostly knew them, had seen the show, and they were swarmed and fondled, handed drinks left and right. They danced half the night and when Adam reached up and pulled Tick down into a kiss, Tick held on, kissed him back immediately, all tongues and urgency there on the dance floor for one long moment until Tick ruined it by laughing.

“What?” Adam asked.

“I‘m fucking pissed,” Tick admitted, hands on his mouth.

“I know,” Adam agreed as he reached for Tick and kissed him again.

Adam wasn‘t an idiot. He wasn‘t going to try to push anything while they were both in this state. Maybe three years ago, but now he valued their friendship too much to fuck it up like that. Instead he kissed Tick again, allowed himself a moment to revel in the feel of Tick’s mouth, hot against his, of Tick’s hands gripping him, holding him close.

Eventually it was time to leave and Adam helped Tick back to his room, tossed Tick onto his bed and removed his shoes.

Back in his own room, Adam stripped off his clothes. He jerked off, eyes closed tight, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t thinking about Tick the entire time.

**

Adam was starting to think he must have been out of his mind when he agreed to stay in Alice Springs indefinitely. He’d been cornered, someone must have slipped something into his tonic.

“My dick might as well shrivel up and fall off for all the use it’s getting,” Adam griped, stretched out across the sofa in Bernadette’s room.

“Poor dear,” Bernadette said, her voice dry.

“It’s been almost two months, Bernice. Almost two months between being stuck on Priscilla with you and sexual purgatory in Alice Springs.”

“Maybe it’s time you found a nice bloke and settled down,” Bob suggested. He reached out and set a hand on Bernadette’s thigh as he said it. It was disgustingly sweet. Even so Bernadette snorted at Bob’s suggestion and Adam rolled his eyes.

“My life doesn’t need to end at 27, thank you.”

“Well, what about you and Tick?” Bob asked. “You boys looked pretty cozy over at the bar a few weeks back.”

“Oh, sure,” Adam said. “Mitzi’s always been a wonderful performer, hasn’t she? Unfortunately, Bob, I’m not Tick’s type.”

Bernadette laughed.

“What’s so funny now?”

“Of course you’re his type, sweetheart,” Bernadette said. “Why else would he have asked you to come all the way out here?”

“I’m his best mate,” Adam said, eyes narrowed. “Why wouldn’t he want me to -”

“Oh, his _best_ mate,” Bernadette said, turning to Bob, eyebrows raised, lips pursed, disapproving. “And I suppose I’m chopped liver.“ Now back to Adam. “Besides, wasn’t it just a week or two ago that you assured me that none of this was what I thought?”

Adam waved her off. “Not the point.”

“You’re feeling rejected,” Bernadette suggested. “You spent a long time pining after Mitzi Mitosis only to find out she just wasn’t interested.”

Jesus, _everyone_ had known.

“How many friends do you think Tick has?” Bernadette asked.

“So what,” Adam asked.

“Really good ones.”

“Two,” Adam said. It was probably three. Adam was pretty sure that Tick would count Marion in the list.

“Two,” she agreed. “And what would have happened if Tick had let young Adam Whitely mount him backstage at the Cockatoo Club three years ago?”

“How should I know?” Adam sniffed.

“I’m guessing we probably wouldn’t be sitting in Alice Springs together having this conversation now, would we? After all, who wants their life to _end_ at twenty four?”

“I didn’t mean - “

“I know, dear,” Bernadette said. “But you _know_ how Tick can be. And he’s been a mess this last month. Either way, rest assured, from everything that I know of Tick Belrose, you are most definitely his type. And nothing we‘ve learned since we left Sydney has changed that.“

“See, there’s some good news, eh?” Bob asked, hopeful.

Adam just shrugged. When he got up to leave, Bernadette said, “Be easy with him.” The tone of her voice was soft, but Adam recognized the edge there, the unspoken addition. “or I’ll break you.”

**

Adam watched Mitzi put on her makeup, the lipstick, the glitter, and thought about what Bernadette had said.

 _Why else would he have asked you to come all the way out here? How many friends do you think Tick has? Of course you‘re his type, sweetheart._

Tick positioned the blonde wig on his head. He lifted the black coned bra from the table and slid it onto his shoulders, turned to glance over at Adam. He huffed a little when he saw that Adam was just sitting there watching him.

“This is a dress rehearsal, Felicia,” Tick said. “You’re supposed to be dressed.”

“Fuck off,” Adam said. He’d started getting ready. He’d shaved. He was down to his skivvies. Then he’d been distracted. “Some of us are born with the beauty it takes you an hour to achieve.”

Tick snorted and shifted the wig on his head.

Adam clicked his knuckles against his dressing table. Dammit, Bernadette drove him crazy. _Why else would he have asked you to come all the way out here?_

“Why didn’t you ask Steve to come out here?” Adam asked.

“Farrah?” Tick laughed as he clipped the bra at his back.

“Sure,” Adam said.

“Bernadette would have left Farrah on the side of the road,” Tick said. “We never would have made it all the way here.”

Adam reached for his black corset and Tick stood to help him hook it in the back. Once it was on, Adam sighed and said, “Farrah’s a better drag queen than I am.”

“Shut up,” Tick said and slapped Adam‘s ass. “You’re a great performer.”

“Is that why I’m here? For a show?” Adam sat back in his chair and started arranging his makeup in front of him.

“Of course not,” Tick said.

“Right,” Adam said. “I guess that wouldn’t be true. You did invite Bernadette.”

Tick reached out and placed a hand on Adam‘s shoulder. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Nothing,” Adam said.

Of _course_ you‘re his type, Bernadette had said.

Bernadette would know. She was always ahead of the rest of them when it came to this kind of thing. She got Tick, knew him in ways that Adam didn’t. Of _course_ you’re his type.

If Bernadette didn’t think that Tick had a soft spot for Adam, she probably would have left Adam on the side of the road too.

 _Why don’t you just do what you normally do?_ Tick had asked him back in the bar. Back when Adam thought Felix would do just fine. _Stick your hand down his pants, push him over the table and mount him._

And okay, Adam had sort of already tried that with Tick. In a child‘s room though, which didn‘t exactly set the right mood.

“Guess who I ran into this morning,“ Adam said.

Tick groaned. “Please don’t tell me Farrah is here. Is that what all of this is about?“

“No,” Adam said. “Not Farrah. That kid that steals Benji’s dog.”

“Kent,” Tick supplied.

“Yeah,” Adam said. “Walking around the casino with a scowl on his face. Picking his shorts and adjusting like crazy.”

Tick smiled. “His mother refuses to buy him new underwear until he figures out how he lost all of the old.”

“Guess he hasn’t thought to check the secret passages yet,” Adam said.

“Oh, I moved them,” Tick said. “Didn’t want him to connect them to Benji and retaliate.”

“What did you do with them?” Adam asked.

Tick crouched down beside Adam, his hands on Adam’s knees. He was all Mitzi as he leaned in close, as though he planned to kiss Adam, but instead said, “I threw them away.”

Adam gasped. “Evil, Mitz.”

Mitzi’s grin was slow and wide, intentionally suggestive. Stick your hand up her skirt, Adam thought. Bend him over the table and mount him.

Tick wasn’t actually trying to suggest any of this, was flirting just because that’s what he did when he was on, but still. Bernadette’s words echoed in Adam’s ear and Adam thought, maybe. Maybe it was worth another shot, a proper shot. Everything out there on a plate so that all Tick had to do was give in and take it.

He looked past Tick and his eye caught on the white frock he’d wear during his ‘Like a Virgin’ number. He’d brought it with him from Sydney, hadn’t had any reason to put it on in weeks.

He turned to find Tick watching him, close. Tick reached up, brushed a piece of hair from Adam’s forehead. As Tick stood, Adam saw him glance back, discrete, checking to see what had caught Adam’s attention.

“Anyway,” Tick said, turning back to Adam. His smile and the tilt of his head suggested full on Mitzi again. “Guess who _I_ ran into this morning.”

“Who?”

“Felix,” Mitzi grinned. She extended a finger and bent it toward Adam in that stupid miniature wave. “He asked about you.”

Adam hadn’t been back in the bar much since Felix called everything off. He’d been busy with the show, with rehearsals, with Tick and with Benji. He shrugged now and opened a drawer beneath his table, pulled out a pair of tights.

“Uh oh,” Tick said. He sat in Bernadette’s empty chair, leaned forward to hear the gossip. “Did you fight?” He made a face then and lowered his voice as he continued, “Is he bad in bed? Small cock?”

There it was again, the miniature one finger wave, but this time Adam laughed despite himself.

“No,” Adam said. “Just not sure Felix is my type after all.”

Tick was quiet for a while after that. He watched Adam get ready, watched as Felicia donned her frock and tended to her face.

Eventually, when Adam had faded to the background and Felicia was nearly ready to take the stage, Tick sighed and said, “Well, you know what Bernadette would say. You never know unless-”

“Yeah, yeah,” Adam cut in with an exaggerated roll of the eyes. Felix wasn’t going to happen. Felix had been a distraction. It was always about Tick, had been for years.

“Let’s go, Madonna,” Tick said, held out an arm for Adam to take. Adam took it, let Tick twine their fingers together as he pulled Adam toward the door. He felt Tick’s thumb slide across his wrist, the movement rhythmic and comforting. It reminded him of the rhythm of the dance floor that night, the way that Tick, high on the music, drunk on it, had held on when Adam had kissed him, had kissed back, had wanted it.

Maybe Bernadette really was right. Again.

You never know unless you give it a go.

**

Laughter wasn’t really the reaction that Adam expected.

He’d spent an hour in their dressing room applying the make-up and getting situated in the white frock. He’d spent an hour making sure that his wig was just right, preparing himself in every way possible for this.

He frowned now, hands at his hips, waiting for Tick to collect himself.

“Are you finished?” he asked when Tick finally stopped giggling.

“Just about,” Tick said. “I’m happy for you, Felicia.”

“Happy?” Adam repeated. He hadn’t planned talking. He’d planned to get inside, get Tick onto the bed, get things moving before anyone tried to ruin the mood with words.

“Fulfilling another dream, I see,” Tick clarified. “Felix is going to be a lucky man tonight.”

Oh, for fuck’s sake. Even with the revelation that Tick had been aware of Adam’s flirting years ago, Tick still had to be the most oblivious person Adam had ever met. He probably had no idea what was going on until Marion had him standing there at the altar. Probably didn’t even notice that she was pregnant until the doctor announced, “It’s a boy!”

Adam didn’t say any of this though. Now was not the time for bickering with Tick, as fun as that could be. Instead Adam tilted his head, smiled long and slow.

“Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

Tick frowned at Adam, his face scrunched as though he sensed now, finally, that something was up but was still too dense to pinpoint the reason that Adam would be showing up at his room decked out in a wedding dress and strategically ripped fishnets.

Didn’t they just have this conversation a few days ago? It shouldn’t be taking Tick this long to catch on.

Eventually Tick stepped aside and Adam slid into the room past him, sliding his fingers across Tick’s chest as he went.

“What are you doing here?” Tick asked, finally.

“We just spent weeks packed in together on a bus like sardine’s and now I need a reason to see you?” Adam asked.

“Fair enough,” Tick agreed. “But if you’re planning to get fucked tonight, you better get on with it.”

He was talking about Felix, Adam knew, but he smiled anyway.

“What do you think I’m doing here?” he asked.

Adam sat on the edge of the bed, leaned back, spread his legs so that the layers of lace settled between them.

“Adam,” Tick started.

Adam reached up, pulled the wig from his head and tossed it aside.

He wasn’t an idiot. Tick wasn’t going to be seduced by Madonna in drag. There was a reason Tick had run from his wife. Tick wasn’t looking for some illusion of femininity, at least not outside of himself. Adam leaned back further, lifted and bent his left leg until his foot rested on the edge of the bed. He reached into his corset and pulled out his tits, tossed those to the floor with the wig.

Tick stood there in his ridiculous green pyjamas, feet bare against the carpet. His arms were folded tight across his chest, his brow furrowed, frozen there in a state of indecision.

Come on, Mitzi, Adam thought. Last chance. Make up your damn mind. Have your fun, mock me, kick me out. Or get over here and let’s get to it already. Don’t just stand there.

Adam reached toward his knee, fingers tangled in the layers of his skirt. He slid his hand up his thigh, pulling the skirt up as he went until finally Tick’s furrowed brow smoothed out, the troubled expression sliding from Tick’s face, replaced by an open look of something - fear, lust, Adam wasn‘t quite sure.

Adam knew what Tick was seeing now. He’d chosen a pair of cheap fishnets that Tick had purchased and then bitched about for weeks. The tights were net all the way up to the waist band. “Cheap uncomfortable pieces of shit,” Tick had said. Adam had grabbed them from his hands. “I’ll find some use for them,” he offered.

And he had. He’d skipped underwear entirely, had gone straight for the fishnets and now he was hard, could feel his cock straining against the netting, knew how it must look.

“Adam,” Tick said again, nearly chocked on it. His hand flew up to cover his mouth as though he’d just cursed in front of his grandmother. His fingernails were painted red.

Adam was sure Tick’s next move would be to turn away, had no other tricks to pull out, nothing else to offer. He’d imagined that it wouldn’t mean anything, this. Just a fuck between friends, but now that he was here, ready, he suddenly knew why he’d never pursued this harder years ago. The idea of being truly rejected by Tick was terrifying. Tick knew him better than anyone and if Tick really didn’t want him, not even for something as uncomplicated as a roll in the sack, well then -

Tick turned suddenly toward the door, exactly as Adam predicted. Adam’s sharp intake of breath was audible in the quiet of the room, out before he could contain it. Tick heard, of course.

He turned back toward Adam, took the few steps to the bed and then reached out to set a hand on Adam’s knee.

“Come on,” Tick said and reached for Adam’s hand. Adam was going to kill Bernadette.

He wanted to refuse Tick, wanted to spit out a biting retort. He couldn’t come up with anything though and settled for tilting his chin up in a defiant stare. He didn’t lift a finger, didn’t reach for Tick’s hand. If Tick wanted out, he could be the one to leave.

Eventually Tick seemed to get that Adam wasn’t going to give in and he dropped his hand back down to Adam’s knee, plucked at Adam’s stockings.

“I get it,” Adam said, finally, sick of the holding pattern they were stuck in. “Just go then.”

‘All right,” Tick agreed, but he didn’t leave. He’d finally been pushed to the limit of his predictability because instead of leaving, Tick dropped to his knees in front of Adam, no longer visible behind the wall that Adam had created with his skirts.

“What -” Adam started, but didn’t finish because Tick was removing the pump from Adam’s right foot. Then Tick’s hands were on Adam’s left, grabbing at the shoe and tossing it aside before he began pulling Adam’s leg off the bed and toward him. Adam pushed himself up into a sitting position and Tick reached for his arms, pulled him down until his mouth met Tick’s in a kiss.

Adam almost couldn’t believe, even with Tick’s tongue pushing its way into Adam’s mouth, that this might actually be happening.

Couldn’t believe it, but Jesus Christ, he was hot for this. He grabbed for Tick as he slid off the edge of the bed, desperate to get closer. He straddled Tick’s thighs, fingers holding tight to the green sleeves Tick‘s pyjamas.

Tick reached up and pulled the stocking cap from Adam’s head, ran his fingers through Adam’s flattened hair. Tick seemed just as desperate for him now and Adam wondered how they couldn’t have guessed that this was how it would be between them if they’d just paid attention and given it a shot.

You never know unless you give it a go.

“She always has to be right,” Adam said, his words a little breathless against Tick’s mouth.

“What?” Tick asked, didn’t wait for Adam’s answer before his mouth was on Adam’s again.

Adam kissed him back, his hands everywhere, on Tick’s shoulders, his neck, in his hair. He was hard and uncomfortable and he didn’t care as long as Tick kept doing this, kissing him, sucking at his tongue. Tick’s hands slid down Adam’s back until they were gripping his ass, pulling him forward, closer, closer. They had too many clothes between them and Adam‘s hands slid down to work at the buttons of Tick‘s shirt.

He managed to get the first few loose. He pushed the shirt back off Tick‘s shoulders, abandoned Tick‘s mouth to kiss the exposed skin of his neck, his chest. His fingers continued to work the buttons free as Tick held on, kept him close, his nose pressed into Adam‘s hair. Finally Adam reached the last button, but his fingers kept moving down until finally they reached their destination, palm pressed flat to the bulge at the front of Tick‘s pants.

Tick thrust up into his hand, turned Adam’s head back up so that he could claim his mouth again.

Adam smiled against Tick‘s kiss, pulled back just far enough to say, “Guess you can’t be totally straight then, can you?”

Tick pinched his side hard and then pushed Adam back. He shoved at Adam’s skirts, pushing them up, exposing Adam’s confined dick, and then, without another word, Tick leaned over Adam, bent down until he was lost behind the wall of lace. Adam gasped when he felt Tick‘s mouth on him, licking around the lines of the net.

Well, it certainly proved that point.

And then Tick started laughing, puffs of warm breath against sensitive skin.

“Are you _laughing_?” Adam asked.

“Sorry,” Tick said.

Adam tried to get the layers of his skirt out of the way so that he could see Tick. “What’s - are you laughing at my dick?”

“No,” Tick said, “No, just - I can’t believe you - this looks so uncomfortable, Jesus.”

“It is,” Adam grunted.

“These fucking tights,” Tick said. “I can’t believe you kept them.”

“Will you shut up and do something down there already?” Adam asked. “You’re ruining this.”

Adam thought he saw Tick shrug and then Tick’s fingers slipped through the netting and pulled. Everything got too tight for a second and Adam gasped, twitched, ready to kick at Tick, but then he felt the tights rip free, and Tick right there so it felt like his dick fell from its net straight into Tick‘s waiting hand.

Tick held it for a moment, felt the weight of it as his thumb slide up and down the length. Adam threw his head back and waited impatiently for what Tick planned to do next. Adam didn’t care. All he cared was that _finally_ someone was touching him, that best of all that someone was Tick. Fuck, it was like all of his dreams from three years ago finally coming true.

He wasn’t paying attention, so he jumped a little when he felt Tick’s lips, warm at the tip of his dick, and he thrust forward before he could stop himself. Tick set a hand at his thigh to steady him, but he wasn’t thrown by Adam’s movement, was slowly sliding his mouth down Adam’s cock, his tongue pressed firm against the underside, until finally, Tick’s mouth met the spot where his hand was wrapped around the base.

Well, he’d certainly done _this_ before.

“Jesus, Tick,” Adam groaned. He pressed down the layers of his skirt until his hands found Tick’s head, fingers in his hair, not pushing, just touching, wanting that additional connection.

He was going to come if Tick kept this up. He was going to come fast and hot down Tick’s throat and while the thought made him gasp, twitch against Tick‘s tongue, it wasn’t the ending he’d envisioned.

He pulled at Tick’s hair and Tick grunted around Adam’s dick. He got the hint though and his hand disappeared from Adam’s thigh, only to reappear lower. His finger slid in, easy, and Tick made a noise in his throat as he slid it out only to return with two.

His fingers disappeared again, replaced with the press of Tick’s thumb, and then finally, just in time, Tick’s mouth abandoned Adam and he sat back, laughed, and said, “You little slut.”

“What?” Adam asked. He’d spent an hour getting ready. He’d spent time preparing for this in _every_ way. “Didn’t want you to rip me apart.”

Tick face read offended horror.

Adam rolled his eyes. “You were supposed to push me against the wall and fuck me. I wasn‘t anticipating all of this foreplay.”

“Well,” Tick said, removed his hands and held them up. “Sorry I’m not living up to your - “

“Oh, shut up,” Adam snapped, sitting up so that he could reach Tick, pull him down into a kiss. Tick laughed against Adam’s mouth, his hands finding their way back between Adam’s legs, but only for a moment and then Tick was talking again.

“How do you want to do this then?” Tick asked.

“I don’t care,” Adam said. “Just do it already, will you?”

“It’s your fantasy,” Tick reasoned. “I thought you might - “

“This is _not_ my fantasy,” Adam assured him. It was a lie. This may not have been exactly his Madonna ‘Like a Virgin’ fantasy, but he and Tick here, this, there was still definitely something getting completed on his list tonight.

He’d tucked a condom and a small bottle of lubricant into the top of his frock and he pulled them out now, pushed them into Tick’s hand.

“You really thought this through,” Tick said, but he was moving again, shoving his pants down off his hips as he ripped the package open with his teeth.

Been thinking about it three long years, baby. Used to think about it every night, sitting there in Mitzi’s dressing room.

As soon as it was free, Adam’s hands were on Tick’s dick, pumping once, twice, and then reluctantly releasing him so that Tick could slide the condom around the end.

“Get up on the bed,” Tick said, and it sounded low, butch, an order. This was more like it, Adam thought. Tick was getting into this now, remembered what Adam had wanted. Fuck, this was going to be good.

Adam scrambled on the floor, kneeling on his skirts and nearly falling before he finally got himself up onto the bed.

“Turn around,” Tick said, and his voice was still gruff, though it looked a little like he was trying not to smile. Adam ignored that part, did as he was told. Tick’s hands were a little too gentle as they moved Adam back toward him, as they pushed the white skirt up around his waist, even as they ripped a larger hole into the fishnet stockings. When he pushed inside it was slow, careful, but Adam gasped anyway, pushed back against him, waited for more.

“Come on,” Adam said, urging Tick on. It’d been so long since he’d been fucked. He wanted it harder, faster. He wanted it to last forever.

Tick obliged, gripping at Adam’s waist as he found a rhythm, deeper, faster. Adam could feel the nettimg, tight on his thighs, the corset cutting in at his waist, and Tick’s hands, holding him steady as Tick fucked him.

Jesus, it was finally happening. How many times had he fantasized about this back at the beginning? How many times had he sat there at the Cockatoo Club imagining the things he’d let Tick do to him? And now he was here, in Alice Springs, frocked up as Madonna, bent unceremoniously over a bed as he felt every inch of Tick sliding inside of him.

Tick lifted a leg onto the edge of the bed to give himself better leverage, and his next thrust was deeper than the last, hit all of Adam’s favourite spots. Adam reached back, his fingers brushing at Tick’s ankle before he buried his hand beneath his skirt, wrapped it around his dick, swollen and ready.

Tick’s hand slid up the length of Adam’s back, palm curling around Adam’s shoulder, right close to his neck so that his thumb brushed the back of it with each thrust.

It was too much, all of it, and Adam gasped and turned toward Tick‘s hand, buried his face against his shoulder as he cried out and came hard across his palm. Tick moaned in response, felt it, the way that Adam’s body clenched with it, gripped Tick harder as the orgasm coursed through him. Tick continued to push, in, in, and Adam felt it spark through his body again and again.

Adam let his dick fall from his hand, wiped his palm on his thigh, and then reached back for Tick.

“Don’t stop,” Adam said. “Keep going.”

“Okay,” Tick agreed, each syllable a gasp. But he didn’t have long. It only took another moment before Tick was following Adam, before Tick’s fingers gripped hard at Adam’s shoulder and Tick shuddered and pressed above him. And then Tick was pulling out, reaching for Adam again, turning him and pulling him in so until their mouths met.

It had been too long since their last kiss, and this one felt full of renewed desperation, lewd promise. He hoped that he was reading Tick right, that the kiss meant that there was more to come, that nothing had really been quenched here. They‘d be doing this again. And again and again.

Eventually it was Tick who broke the kiss, rolled away from Adam to stare up at the ceiling, chest still heaving just a little.

Adam reached up, mimed drawing a check mark in the air above them, and Tick laughed.

“It’s about time you crossed that one off,” Tick said. “It’s only been, what? Three years?”

“Yeah,” Adam said, “About time.“ though he suspected they might be talking about slightly different things.

Adam sat up and looked around at the mess they’d made of the room.

Tick reached out, a hand on Adam’s arm, and said, “You staying?” He was asking about that night, but Adam knew he meant longer.

Adam turned and looked down at Tick. He looked a mess. His hair stuck out every which way and Adam’s lipstick was smudged on his lips. Adam could only imagine what he must look like if Tick looked this disheveled. Didn’t matter, really. It had been worth it.

Adam began undoing his corset, tsked at the black smudge of makeup on the white fabric.

“Fuck,” Adam said, licked his finger and rubbed at the spot.

“I’ll get it out tomorrow,” Tick promised.

“Bernadette is going to have a field day with this,” Adam said.

Tick shrugged. “We don’t have to tell her.”

“We do if we’re going to keep going at it,” Adam countered. “Bernie’s old, but she’s not senile. Not yet anyway.”

“Adam - I - “ Tick started and then frowned and said, “I don’t know if this is a good time for this.”

“I’m not saying we start planning a gay ol’ wedding here. I was thinking more of an I’ll scratch your itch if you scratch mine arrangement.”

Tick rolled his eyes, laughed, and said, “Oh, well, if that’s what you were thinking then we’re definitely keeping that between us. Me and you. Benji doesn’t need to know about anything unless it’s serious. Bernadette doesn’t need to know.”

“Bernadette’s going to figure it out,” Adam scoffed. “She’ll smell it on us. Old dog.”

“I know,” Tick said. “Let her figure it out though. It’ll be fun for her. She’ll enjoy it.”

Adam shrugged. “Fine by me,” he said. He finished pulling off the corset and the skirt, leaned over to roll the ripped fishnets down to his toes. He felt Tick’s fingers low on his back and he smiled, turned back to see Tick’s face as he kicked the fishnets from his feet and onto the floor. Tick was staring at Adam’s back, watching the path of his fingers on Adam’s skin.

Adam leaned back again, settled in beside Tick. Yeah. He‘d be staying a while.

**

They kept it from everyone for weeks. If by keeping it from everyone meant that Tick told Marion and Tick told Bernadette and Bernadette told Bob and Adam didn’t say a word about it to anyone just as he‘d promised. It was pretty much exactly what Adam had expected to happen.

It didn’t matter that nearly everyone knew. It still felt like a secret, like an affair, as they pushed each other into hallways and cupboards, mouths sucking, taking, hands groping over clothing fast and furious as they glanced over their shoulders to make sure they were still alone.

Adam couldn’t keep his hands off of Tick, secretly thought he must be making up for lost time.

His knees ached from the press of the concrete floor in their dressing room. His jaw was sore and his mouth watered with the taste of Tick, with the shape of him stretching past his lips.

Tick hadn’t wanted this. “Not now,” he’d said. “Wait until we’re in my room.” He was worried that they’d be interrupted, that someone might be waiting now that the show had ended, Marion or Bernadette. They could wait.

Anyway, Tick didn’t seem that worried anymore, hands in Adam’s hair, fingers pressing against Adam’s scalp. Adam thought of all the orgasms that they’d wasted, that should have spilled like this one, thick over Adam’s tongue as Tick buckled and moaned above him.

Adam had a lot of catching up to do.

When they were alone, locked in one of their rooms, they took their time, kissing each other, fucking thoroughly, completely. Adam was in love with Tick’s face, with the way the lines smoothed out, an open expression of pleasure as Adam pushed inside him. It looked a lot like love in that moment and Adam felt it in his dick, in his stomach and his heart.

Tick liked it on his back, liked to be able to see Adam as Adam pressed into him. Tick was a fucking disgusting romantic, worse than Adam had imagined, and Adam was loving every single moment of it.

Tick sighed beside him. The sigh sounded heavy and Adam turned to him and said, “What? Don‘t tell me you‘re up for another go already?”

Tick smiled. “No,” he said, then shrugged, looked away, and finally admitted what was on his mind. “I don’t remember ever being this happy before.”

“Wow,” Adam said after a long moment of silence. “I always knew I was a good shag, but really Mitz. And here I thought you agreed when Bernadette said my ego was larger than her ass.”

“She didn’t - she said to get your head out of - never mind,” Tick gave up. “You know what I mean.”

“Sure,” Adam conceded.

“I always just assumed that to be true to myself, I had to give up what I had here,” Tick said. “That I couldn’t be _me_ and have Benji too. And now I have Benji and you and Marion and Bernadette. Bob. I’m not sure I deserve it, really.”

“Oh, I’m heading back to Sydney in the morning,” Adam said, dismissive.

Tick laughed. “Benji would never forgive you,” he said. It sounded a lot like saying that Tick would never forgive him.

“Mm,” Adam shrugged, kept his face serious only until he saw Tick’s smile falter, suddenly unsure. Then Adam laughed, leaned in to kiss him.

“I just don’t want anything to screw up what I’ve started here, you know?”

“You’re going to be a great father,” Adam assured him.

“Yeah,” Tick said. “I’m going to try.”

“And anyway, Benji‘s all for this.”

“What?” Tick asked, his voice hard, clearly surprised.

“We talked about it,” Adam said.

“You talked to Benji about you and - about this? When?”

“Well, not _this_ ,” Adam said. “It was weeks ago, before any itches were being scratched. We were joking around. Benj was offering to help me find a boyfriend again, you know how he can’t let that go. I said I didn’t need help. He said he thought I did - your kid’s mouthy, by the way - I said, ‘oh yeah? Maybe I’ll date your daddy, how would you like that?’ thinking he’d be disgusted and we could talk about superheroes or tree houses or something instead.”

“What did he say?” Tick asked, his face pale and serious.

Adam’s voice was high and nasal as he did his best Benji impression. “Oh, really, Adam? Really? That would be _perfect_.”

Tick turned away from Adam but even looking toward the wall, Tick’s grin was blinding.

“And that was when I decided I was packing up and moving back to Sydney,” Adam concluded.

“Liar,” Tick laughed. “God, he’s so amazing.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Adam agreed. “He’s the love of your life. Heart so full of Benji there‘s no room for anyone else.”

Tick laughed and pushed at Adam. When Adam put his arms out to defend himself from being pushed right off the edge of the bed, Tick took it a step further, rolled until he had Adam pinned down. He smirked, triumphant, as though Adam couldn’t take him down if Adam actually tried. Adam raised his eyebrows, his mouth set in a line that said he wasn’t quite as amused by all of this as Tick seemed to be.

Tick leaned down, kissed his mouth.

“Maybe there’s a little room left in here for someone else,” Tick admitted.

“There fucking better be,” Adam agreed.

**

It had to be a thousand degrees. It was fucking sweltering. Another step and Adam might fall over, melt into the dust.

Who‘s idea of fun was this? Trudging through the desert in an attempt to enjoy ‘nature.’

Only Tick would every think to suggest such a thing. It was like he’d completely forgotten all the ‘nature’ they’d experienced on their journey to Alice.

Benji ran ahead and picked up stones from the path, tossing them at invisible targets and shouting in triumph when he hit them. Now, forty minutes into the walk, Benji seemed to be the only one actually reveling in it. Tick wasn’t complaining, but he was quiet. Adam was choosing to read the silence as regret.

The only thing that redeemed the afternoon as far as Adam was concerned was that when Benji wasn‘t looking Tick would move closer until his hand bumped against Adam‘s, his fingers catching with Adam‘s for just a moment before he released Adam‘s hand again. Adam wanted to grab onto Tick’s hand, pull him in to kiss, to lick the sweat from his neck and the frown from his lips.

The next time Tick’s hand bumped his, Adam did grab it, and Tick squeezed for just a moment before he released.

Benji whooped and turned to shout back at them, “Did you see that?!”

“Of course,” Tick said. “Great job, Benj!”

“You didn’t actually see anything, did you?” Adam said.

Tick shrugged. “I saw him throw that little rock.”

Benji came racing back toward them, wrapping himself around Tick’s waist as he ran in a circle around him.

“Oh!” he said suddenly, releasing Tick in favor of Adam. He skipped, walking backwards in front of them as he said, “I forgot to tell you. I found a boyfriend for you.”

Adam ducked his head with an exaggerated frown. “Sorry, kid. I’m off the market.”

“What does that mean?” Benji asked, looking to Tick for a translation.

“Found a boyfriend for myself,” Adam clarified and then raised his eyebrows, taunting.

“Felix?” Benji asked, and Tick looked over toward Adam at the obvious disappointment in Benji’s tone.

“No,” Adam said. “Not _Felix_.”

“Shep?” Benji tried again.

“Shep’s -?” Tick started loud, then made a big production of it, stopping and pulling Benji in toward him, covering Benji‘s ears as he continued even louder, “Shep‘s gay?” He sounded a little too interested all of a sudden.

Now it was Benji’s turn to roll his eyes, having clearly heard what Tick said. Adam reached out and slapped Tick‘s hands from Benji‘s ears and Tick laughed. It was nice to see him relaxing a little around Benji, even if it was at Adam‘s expense, even if they had to walk into the desert to have this moment.

“What? Okay, not Shep,” Tick added. He looked up at Adam for a long moment, then nodded and leaned down closer to Benj. “One more guess.”

Benji whipped around toward Tick, nearly knocking their heads together. “Really?” he asked, catching on almost immediately.

Tick did that thing he did sometimes when he was unsure of a situation. He breathed out a heavy puff of air and flashed his teeth in a smile at the same time. It’d always driven Adam crazy.

“Yeah,” Tick said, straightened and reached out to set a hand on Benji’s head. “That’s okay, isn’t it?”

“I thought so,“ Benji said.

“You thought so?“ Tick repeated, his voice a little horrified.

Benji turned back to Adam then. “See, I _told_ you I’d find you a boyfriend,” he said, his smile awfully smug for someone who’d only been alive seven years.

“Didn’t need your help,” Adam countered. He leaned in toward Tick until Tick took the hint. Instead of brushing Adam off, which was pretty much what Adam expected, Tick leaned forward, Benji between them, beneath them. Tick kissed Adam just light on the lips and then looked shocked at himself that he’d done so with Benji right there. Benji didn’t care. Benji’d moved on.

“This is great news,” Benji said, as he started walking again.

Tick laughed. “I’m glad you think so.”

“I do,” Benji agreed.

Adam took a step toward Tick so that their hands knocked together again. Tick responded by wrapping Adam’s hand in his and this time didn’t let go, not even when Benji turned back to say, “So does this mean Adam’s staying in Alice Springs with us forever?”

Tick held tight to his hand as Adam sighed heavily and surveyed the landscape. Alice Springs. Of all the places in the world. What the hell had he gotten himself into?

“Alice Springs _forever_ , eh?” Adam repeated, turned to catch Tick’s eye. Tick smiled and it looked a little forced, a little unsure. Adam shook his head. Tick had nothing to worry about.

“Oh, what the hell,” Adam said. “Wouldn’t miss it.”


End file.
